The trailer for Rob Zombie’s upcoming horror film, “The Lords of Salem,” has been released and it looks … Ho-hum.

Okay. It doesn’t look like a complete, flaming bag of dog turds. Then again, after Zombie’s wretched redux of “Halloween” and its even more execrable sequel, it’s going to take a lot more than jump-cuts and witches being burned at the stake set to classical music for the writer/director to assure horror fans that his magnum opus, “The Devil’s Rejects,” wasn’t just a fluke.

It doesn’t exactly inspire hope that Zombie re-wrote the movie as he was filming it, either.

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In a horror landscape littered with remakes, “The Possession” gets an automatic 20 points for having an original premise.  It’s not that often that malevolent spirits of Hebrew lore pop up as the supernatural antagonist of a horror movie.

Conversely, it’s not that often that Hasidic rapper Matisyahu pops up in a horror movie, either.  ”The Possession,” however, has both.
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The unapologetic and unrepentant blood-sex-and-schlock bath that is  “True Blood” is back. Maedusa and Scara pick their top 5 moments from the premiere episode:

1. Double-Whammy of Awesome: Pam Becomes Tara’s Maker

Tara has been on a downslide the past few seasons, often standing as “True Blood’s” designated emotional piñata or vehicle for frustrating and/or gratuitous storylines. It seemed that Tara may have had one, last, sad act left: taking a bullet for Sookie from psycho werewolf Debbie and getting her brain air-conditioned in the process. Conveniently, Pam dropped by Chez Stackhouse and both Sookie and Laffayette managed to convince her to make Tara a vampire before she croaked. To aid in this convincing, Sookie promised to make things right between Pam and her maker Eric, plus do Pam an additional solid. Donning a heinous yellow Wal-Mart sweatsuit so as not to muss up her typically devastating duds, Pam sired the gunshot victim. When resident vampire-hater Tara wakes up to find she’s joined the ranks of the undead, she will not be pleased.

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Robot grannies everywhere are weeping metallic tears over the loss of sci-fi legend Ray Bradbury on June 5.

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Brace yourself for yet another remake of a classic horror film, kids.  Stephen King’s troubled telekinetic teen “Carrie” will be receiving the remake treatment next year.

Kimberly Pierce, who directed “Boys Don’t Cry” takes the reins on this redux of the 1976 original which starred Sissy Spacek and Piper Laurie.

Chloe Grace Moretz has been cast in the title role and Julianne Moore gets to spit out a bunch of awesome lines as Carrie’s nutcase of a mother, Margaret White. Rounding out the cast is Gabriella Wilde as nice mean girl Sue Snell.

So far, the casting of Moretz and Moore makes this remake seem promising.  The young Moretz has already racked up several roles in horror(esque) films, including “Let Me In,” the new “Dark Shadows” remake and the upcoming “Dance of the Mirlitons.” Moore’s horror pedigree includes a recent turn in 2010′s “Shelter.” Given Moore’s body of work, it will probably be fun to see her let loose as crazy Mrs. White.

You can see “Carrie”‘s dirty pillows in wide theatrical release on March 15, 2013.

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