Ghouls on Film

I sat down with Evan Goldberg, one-half of the Seth and Evan writing team behind “Superbad,” “Pineapple Express,” and “The Green Hornet” and in between talking about his love for Wawa hoagies (“We went to Wawa’s and it blew my fucking mind!”) and Canadian heritage videos, I was able to eek a tiny bit of info out of him about “Jay and Seth vs. the Apocalypse.”

“It’s a horror movie but we’re not horror guys. We don’t really dig on that. It’s just the idea is so good. So it’s going to be like a suspense-horror-comedy,” Goldberg said.

When I asked what makes it horrific he was vague, at best.

“It’s not like the apocalypse like ‘2012.’ There’s things that hurt you. Running around. Not zombies. I’m not getting into that. We’re not doing zombies. But people, they’re getting hunted by shit.”

I tried to get more out of him: Satanic? Half-man, half-shark? But that was it. I am just thanking big baby Jesus that it’s not like “2012.”

Watch the trailer below and let me know what you think might be doing some man-eating.

It’s been a while since I’ve watched Alex Proyas’ cursed film “The Crow,” but I want to thank him for giving me daydream fodder that’s lasted over fifteen years. Even now Brandon Lee’s model-meets-Scissorhands look makes me put hand to forehead and reach for my smelling salts.

Now The Wrap reports that Nick Cave is taking out his pen and vial of ink (sorry, there is just no way Nick Cave uses a computer) to rewrite the screenplay for “The Crow” remake. Apparently Director Stephen Norrington’s original script wasn’t quite cutting it.

Although my gut immediately screams “WHYYYYYY????!!!” when any news of a beloved film getting revamped surfaces, I am curious to see what Cave comes up with. He definitely gives this rewrite a certain sort of Gothic cred which fans of the original might be receptive to.

The Wrap also speculates that there will be a major casting announcement soon.

“Expect an announcement in the coming weeks about who will land the coveted role of Eric Draven in the reconceptualized remake of ‘The Crow,’ which will feature the titular bird as more of a full-fledged character than in Alex Proyas’ 1994 original.”

So who will be fluffing his feathers? Jared Leto maybe?  What about one of the Way brothers? It’s only a matter of time until one of those My Food Court Romance wieners gets cast in a movie. And think of the the cross-promotional opportunities! Hot Topic sponsorship. You can get Draven’s guyliner line then walk on over to Burger King and eat some Crow fingers.

Knock, Knock ...

I failed to make it long enough in Hall H to see the “Let Me In” footage screened, but from everything I hear Matt Reeves adaptation doesn’t disappoint, bringing a new and unique viewpoint to Lindqvist’s already excellent story. I direct you to Joe McCabe’s review over at FEARnet for details on the clips.

Not only did I miss blood provided by a tiny vampire looking for a new friend, but I also missed the real-life bloodbath that occurred just before the Marvel panel last night. Eyes were bleeding, but it wasn’t because of the “Thor” footage screened.

Anyone who has been to Comic-Con knows that the hours spent in long lines in hope of getting a coveted Hall H seat causes short tempers, but in general the crowd is in high spirits, basking in the glow of their own personal nerd heaven. Failing outright bliss, they are usually pretty polite. They don’t typically stab someone in the eye over a seat. At least that was the story going around last night. A publicist told me he saw the stab happy fanboy being escorted from the hall shirt covered in blood and hands cuffed behind him.

Today a different story is circulating involving an inflatable toy and a scratch. There were some face suckers on long popsicle sticks being passed around. Maybe they were the culprits? I prefer to believe that someone got a tray of hot nacho cheese to the face which temporarily blinded him and he fell into the lightsaber of a Sith Lord who was just minding his own business, waiting for in line for the bathroom.

Perhaps the Greatest Crowley

I had the chance to see a preview of Adam Green’s “Hatchet 2″ during the American Horror panel at Comic-Con and if you are a fan of the original “Hatchet,” you won’t be disappointed by this one. Your favorites are back, even one who died in the first.

I don’t want to spoil it for you, but let’s just say we find out who Little Vic’s Mommy is and why he was dealt such a cruel hand. Does anyone else just feel bad for him? For me, he’s horror’s backwoods answer to Sloth.

Here’s a few descriptions to give give you an idea of the swampy mess that lies ahead, but maybe not spoil the whole thing:

• a chainsaw long enough to make short work of two hunters
  
• curb stomp
• two guys’ balls finally drop
• head remains animated after decapitation
• face peel, no salon required
  
• real teeth transformed into a fine set of dentures

After seeing this, I can’t wait to see what Green comes up with for “Killer Pizza.” Green says the film will be released unrated my a major movie chain. Looks like the curse of Crowley is coming to a theater near you!

It’s called “Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters” and this is what he had to say about the movie:

“I think of it as action-horror. It’s an amazing script, one of the best scripts I’ve ever read. Hansel and Gretel kill the witch, they grow up and now they’re bounty hunters who hunt witches. It is a bad ass movie, man. Tommy Wirkola who did ‘Dead Snow’ is directing it. That and ‘Eastbound and Down,’ coming out in September, are the two things I’m most excited about.”

MTV reported a few months ago that some of the “Twilight” cast is being looked at for the movie.