Ghouls on Film

Ah, summer. Tanned legs, sand in swimsuits, Budweiser and orange juice Shandies.

But for some, like me, summer has a more sinister undertone.

Ever since fifth grade, I’ve equated warm temperatures with just one thing: the return of the “vampires of the insect world.”

Some people hate spiders, others see snakes and run, I am paralyzed with fear by ticks. Their parasitic pinchers. Their beady eyes. They waited, watching in the tall grass, until this unsuspecting 10-year-old walked by. Soon they were everywhere, even crawling out of my hair. I clawed at my clothing but to no avail.

Since then, with Krueger-like tenacity, they have visited me in my nightmares. The nightmares look something like this (I’m the one in the red half-shirt) minus the butt-cut sporting Seth Green and my b-movie boyfriend Clint Howard. This is why I never go camping. Watch and be warned!

I sat down with Evan Goldberg, one-half of the Seth and Evan writing team behind “Superbad,” “Pineapple Express,” and “The Green Hornet” and in between talking about his love for Wawa hoagies (“We went to Wawa’s and it blew my fucking mind!”) and Canadian heritage videos, I was able to eek a tiny bit of info out of him about “Jay and Seth vs. the Apocalypse.”

“It’s a horror movie but we’re not horror guys. We don’t really dig on that. It’s just the idea is so good. So it’s going to be like a suspense-horror-comedy,” Goldberg said.

When I asked what makes it horrific he was vague, at best.

“It’s not like the apocalypse like ‘2012.’ There’s things that hurt you. Running around. Not zombies. I’m not getting into that. We’re not doing zombies. But people, they’re getting hunted by shit.”

I tried to get more out of him: Satanic? Half-man, half-shark? But that was it. I am just thanking big baby Jesus that it’s not like “2012.”

Watch the trailer below and let me know what you think might be doing some man-eating.